State hospitals and 20 years later my mind came back to me. Now I am a single mom of 3 young boys. My husband betrayed me and left a blessing though really that he left, he was very abusive. My friends all left. My family left. I was part of a church, they asked me to leave?! I am alone. I go weeks without talking to another person. It breaks my heart they deserve so much more. I stay at home and tear myself to pieces trying to understand why? What did I do? All I can gather is people, even the people who are supposed to love you the most are more inclined to judge you and abandon you rather than stick thru the hard times with you.
I have a necklace from a friend who left. She gave it to me because she said I was the kindest person she had ever met. A lot of people used to say the same thing to me. Why did everyone abandon me? And where do I go from here? If anyone out there could pray I find my way maybe our God will hear you. My heart goes out to all feeling loneliness. I feel very sorry about you story. But come to think of this, Your friends, husband, and even your Sister may have left you. You just have to stand up for you and for your kids, there are people who will stay and and who will not in our lives.
But I can assure you that your kids will stay for not permanently but Forever and love you unconditionally. I will include you to my prayers tonight before I go to bed. I will ask God to give you more strenght and give you happiness that everyone deserves in this world. I know you are a good mother to your kids. So keep your head up high and be happy. I arrived at this site by accident, too much to drink, too much to think about, too much pressure and the feeling of being alone. They care for you , they need you and to be needed is a very special and precious thing.
It puts things into focus and perspective.
Little ones change our focus. Be brave…. Keep smiling. Back to my earliest memories, I have been kind of a loner my whole life. I have made many friends over the years but have never been able to make any of them work long term. This starts all the way back in my early school years right on up to University, work, my adult life and a failed marriage.
I have made many mistakes and done things that I am not proud of but I have never been an unkind or mean person. I have never looked down upon, nor felt superior to, anyone. Not anyone. But, still, I have suffered tremendously, in regards to relationships, almost my entire life. In a room full of people, I could feel alone.
I knew something was wrong but I did not know what. I see now that what was wrong was that I was wearing the armor of a false attitude and it was lacking. When I was very young, 7 years old, my father died. Up until the time he got ill we were very involved in the Church and I had strong faith. I believed and trusted in the Lord. When my father got ill, I prayed and I prayed that God not take him. God had other plans and he died just after Christmas I remember sitting in the Church at his funeral and I can still taste and feel the hot tears that were running down my face.
We were through and I walked away. It was an attitude that would leave me naked and defenseless for a long, long time. And without having true love for myself how could I ever show true love for anyone else?
When you have that, I believe, good people are drawn towards you and stay in your orbit, like gravity. My biggest blessing is knowing that He loves me and He loves you and, no matter what anyone else says or does or what we may have done in the past, His love, through redemption, is forever. You just have to open your heart and give yourself to Him fully and completely, knowing that He has a plan for you. Once you do that, you have gained the most dependable ally you could ever hope for. He will never abandon you and will always be there through the hard times. None of us are failures until we give up trying.
Reaching out is the first step and you have taken that. I had been away from His word for a long time and I felt like a bit a lot of an outsider myself so I struggled to find the right Church for quite a while. I finally did. Looking at my 9 yr old son also reminds me of how truly blessed I am. Your 3 boys are very lucky to have such a devoted and determined mother and I know they are behind you. We all are!
We all make mistakes but none of us are mistakes. His world is at your fingertips, right now. We will all pray for you and we love you. Thank you Marty for writing this! I lost my Dad at the age of 6 and just realized that I have done the exact same as you. I lost my faith and chose to believe that everyone that I ever loved would leave and guess what…. Makes me laugh a little and shake my head.
So after 44 years I finally had the realization that as a child I set my course and the adult is just now catching on. Thank you!! So brave of you to share you feelings too, so many people keep their emotions locked inside. What an amazing thing to be told your the kindest person they ever met. Of all the peole they ever met you are the kindest. You sound lovely. If you want to have someone to chat with you are more than welcome to skype or email me anytime. We can exchange details. Everyone needs a friend and to be loved.
Sending love and warmth to you lisa. I lost my mind at 21, two hospital stays later and a hell of a lot of Lithium , depakote, lamictal, klonopin, not all at the same time.
Being happy is fundamental to living a fulfilling life, but what happens when you just can't find happiness? Being sad is the worst feeling in the world and there are all different types of sadness, which is probably the hardest part. No matter what type of sadness you are feeling. Originally Answered: What can you do if alone in the world? You certainly can live a rich and full life by living alone, and having self-reliance.
It seems like people have left you, but really they are getting on with their lives and you need to too. Surround yourself with those that feel deep as well and they will understand and respect you and your life. I have a family that is self absorbed so if I want their attention I have to scream. Sometimes they are all I have so I have to wave, jump up and down to get attention. Right now my boyfriend has moved to Florida, he was all I had. I cried and still cry for him, but it is where he can make money… So after many panic attacks and suicidal thoughts i realized the only way to preserve my life is to get people in it connect with anyone.
At first it was crisis clinic twice a week, then i said ok I have all this time on my hands I will do some volunteering and horses came to mind. So i help a woman out with her 3 horses, one in particularly I am trying to gain her trust and her mine. Tonight I feel lonely, my boyfriend is fast asleep, but tomorrow I get to see Marley.. In the meanwhile, I see my parents on the weekend and cherish the time I have with Marley and the friendship i am making with Sue the owner of the horses. Letting them into my life is hard for me.
Anyone who has been abused in some way will shut the door very easily to others, that is the safe path, but not the full-filling one. Be curious to find those who will love you……So thank-you, big thanks, for sharing your loneliness for right now I am not lonely. I can relate to you so much. But I firmly believe God has something amazing for the both of us and He must be protecting us greatly in this season of our lives. God Bless you and I will be praying for you. I read your story and I think I can relate but I think it is my parents that are sabotaging me.
I too feel extremly alone. I have not had kids eventhough I wish I had them and I do not have a wife. The relations I built in secret from my parents flourished until they found out. However, my family looks at me strangely as if my condition was shared with them and I am often alone. I will look for a way out of this of course but it is extremely hard to go from a beautiful life to one of horrible loneliness.
I wish this ends but I do wish not to know my parents who I do believe have been sabotaging me. I wish you all the luck in the world in finding more happiness and people to be with. Only a mental condition or did you just do crazy, irrational things? If you need a friend, reply. I feel much the way you do The time also. Michele, This is the first time I have written a comment in this way, but I felt drawn to. There are some wonderful words of encouragement posted here. What I am struggling with is recognizing that love must come from within first. It hurts when people leave, and sometimes is very hard to accept.
Keep your head up, and know that you do have the strength to get thru. I am sending you good wishes and thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story. But I just want to let you know that your comment touched me deeply. I feel lonely too. You have gone through hard things and yet come out not giving up. Sometimes people reflect back at us how we project how we feel about ourselves. My self esteem right now is so much lower than it ever was. But anyway I just wanted to let you know that I care. Michele……I hope you are doing ok….. I respect you for being forthright in reaching out to the goodness of others….
Do not let the lack of anyone around you in terms of friends or family deter you…. Be strong……Feelings are temporary….. Take one day at at time…one minute……even one second…. Realize what is important to you those boys and go from that point……Find what makes them happy and experience it as your own…. You only have 1 life……But, now you have 4….
A MOM …. You — just because of your temporary feelings or situation — are not a failure….. This is true ….. I am going some sadness now after a relationship that has not turned out the way I thought………So, I, too, must keep stepping forward……Keep my head up…. I need to realize that my feelings are temporary and be strong…not weak…. You can find happiness in the simplest of things…. But, also, find yourself — what is past, is past……You are loved and are love……Take care of those kids like you would have wanted to be treated……..
Do whatever it takes to smile once in awhile….. Remember always the world can be lonely……I am not alone……I love……. Thank you for making me realize……I must do that as well….. God speed…. I can understand you we are clearly in the same situation. Michele, I hope you are doing well today. I can relate to some of your past. My children left. They were the only reason I could find to live. I too go a long time without talking to another human.
The depression here alone is unbearable. I hope you and your boys are healthy and happy, and I hope I can feel that way soon. Just an objective thoughtful counselor, doctor or pastor who can understand where you are right now and direct you to some resources in your new area like volunteer work, new hobbies and certainly a place with people available. I hope you are a person of faith and could use your faith to give you initial strength to understand what you are going through and determine a path forward.
Perhaps in the time since you wrote your letter above you have made some friends and associates, maybe a neighbor has begun talking over the fence with you, etc. Be well, and follow YOUR path through life. The kindest of people get walked on the most. I call them land angels — too pure for this world. The world consists of 2 types of people. People who morph, mould and do what it takes to fit in. And sadly those are the ones who get left behind, used, abused or chewed up and spat out. People are stuck in their bubble of denial. I hope things have changed for you and life is a little more wonderful for you!
Take no more crap and believe in your judgement. It was the greatest freedom when I was finally admitted the truth of the lies I knew were being fed to me. I thanked them graciously for giving me back my inner voice that I now fully trust again! I hope it has given you and everyone else the same freedom! We are the lucky ones who have been given the gift of seeing the world unfiltered. Lonely yet powerful and self-suiting. Dear Michelle, I think you are a beautiful human that as the rest of human beings, want to be happy and do not like to suffer.
Normally, in that not wanting to suffer people tend to avoid situations where they do not feel secure or do not know how to handle. That is part of human nature trying to look for happiness. The good news is that there are bunchs of people that study how to help other people, that are in situations where the way out does not seem easy to find. You could find them as psychoanalysts, as priests, as lamas the buddhist monks that are prepared to teach buddhism , as rabinos, etc. Look for someone that could help you, depending on what makes you feel good, and what is according to your beliefs.
Sometimes, just a simple talk with a lama, in my case, help me to stay on track or going back to the track if I lost it. The religion organizations, when they are authentic trying to help you, will not force you to contribute or charge you for any of the help they provide. Also, you could look for a group that shares similar interests and can help depending on your needs and aspirations. He knows how you feel and we know he came through to the other side : and so will you.
But then there was the glory of the Sunday. I want you to think for a minute about all the good things you manage to achieve every day. You take care of your children and they love you. You make sure they have what they need for their day and their development. That is no mean feat! You have been through the wringer and back yes you bounced back!!! That was no mean feat either.
You are truly an amazing person. I will definitely add you to my prayers. That nothing happens by accident and that everything you do, every day is meaningful whether you can see it right away or not. You are an amazing person so take heart. So I just find excuses and i tell one lie after the other to hide from him the real situation and to pretend that i have lots of friends.
What is hurting me the most though is the feeling that i have now,like i want to escape to leave and never come back…the feeling of anger towards the world,happy people,people who live their lives.. I am sorry sorry to hear that you feel so sad, and angry at the world.
What if you told him the truth? Maybe you would feel better? From my personal experience, lying hurts. Lisa, it sounds like you are going through something very difficult, and it might help to talk to someone. I feel like that sometimes too, and it helped me. Perhaps, try asking yourself, what are your running away from? I think that it would be helpful if you spoke to someone you could trust about how you feel.
But when I feel like that, what helps me is writing in my journal, exercising, and singing. When I do these things, I release some of that tension that is building inside of me. I know, that it feels unbearable, and that you are in pain, but remember that this is phase, and it too will soon pass, and you will feel better. Life is full of phases, sometimes I have a lot of people around me, and at other times, I spend most days by myself.
As other people have mentioned, you can be in a crowd of people and feel alone. Perhaps you should ask yourself, how can I feel less lonely? If you would like to meet new people there are many meet up groups available, or perhaps reaching out to an old friend. I read your comment and cried because it was like you were writing my story. I like you was in an abusive relationship and was very happy he was gone. I thought people would be more supportive, but I came to realize that I was putting up with more abuse and judgement from so called friends.
But I ended up having a nervous breakdown,taking myself to the hospital because I literally felt like I was so sick, I was dying. I had 2 young ones at the time. I feel for you because I have been there and wish I could give you a hug. That was all I ever wanted and nobody would give me one. I have managed to make a couple of good friends along the way which has helped, but I know this will be my struggle to overcome.
I too,spent years not speaking to anyone. I realize now that is because of the abuse I went through and not being able to talk about it. It is tough, and I am so sorry that you are going through this. It does get better with time and the thing that kept me going was the fact that my kuds adored me and that was the best feeling. I do not believe in God, so I cannot pray, but I do believe in humanity, and I am sending good vibes your way for someone to come into your life and just hug you, and tell you everything is going to work out.
Sending good thoughts your way Yvette. When I feel lost and alone, I use that emotion to drive myself to do productive things.
It used to be intense fear and sorrow—this comes from my trauma from the past—that at times made me actively suicidal. I have learned to think about my thoughts and choose not to believe every one of them negative ones. Thank you Marc!! But, for whatever reason it was not resonating with me fully… clearly. I had lost my husband of 16 years to cancer over 6 yrs. I knew there was, but invisible to all but me. That 1st year I describe as if I walking through quicksand…Things felt slow, like the menial tasks of every day life took so much effort…strength.
Maybe this is the time to do the things that really matters to YOU. Sometimes in life we unconsciously interpret making the people around us happy makes us happy. We do it without anything in return nor you ask for it. I know I did. Believe me, I know how you feel. We have to start from within ourselves first.
Let go of the past. There is no payback for the things we did to them before…. Because that means I already moved on and Im not holding back anymore.
An endless horror-film loop. Only when we are at our lowest points can we truly rise to be the best versions of ourselves. Do whatever it takes to smile once in awhile….. It was the greatest freedom when I was finally admitted the truth of the lies I knew were being fed to me. When I experienced loneliness I read self-help books, wrote in journals and mapped out my issues on pieces of paper to give them a visual perspective. Most women now want the very best of all today, and they will never settle for less either which is adding to the problem too.
I will pray for you. I really felt pain in heart while reading ur comment.. But u know this kind of person are really hard to find.. And u have 3 children from God who are there in ur loniness so Just hold on for good things coming to ur life in future…Time change..
But remember your not alone, xx. It is really difficult to be alone, till you realise the fact that you and only you are your commander. Nobody can stop you from dreaming and making those dreams happen. So being alone is actually a power which only few have. Be yourself and you will find solitude.
I feel the pain of all the other lonely people in the world. I cry for them because I know the numb agony of being alone. The lack of comfort in another human is unnatural and sends subconscious signals that something is wrong. This makes us stressed and anxious. The conscious mind is the real killer. It takes that panic and runs. The something wrong becomes the self. I am alone as a result of an action i perpetrated.
I know the cycle. I am in it. Yet I cry gutteral tears of dispair at my loneliness. Dear Michele I read your whole story so sadly, as if it was happening to me. I was in this blog to find answer for my current situation, but I learned that there are people who needs more help than myself.
Giving suggestions as an outsider might be easy. Satan wants us to do the opposite. To look at our problems and blame God. Bear in mind! Many successful people said it, even though they gave it other names. Law of attraction, positive thoughts attract positive, negatives negatives bla bla…but I say to you, our Lord said it.
Pray and it consider it done. Close that file and give more time to thank for what you have. Many suffers for not having a child, and many for not having health. You have the biggest things. Do not doubt that God will give the rest little things. Absolutely no! Here you are not asking a friend. You are asking the one who gave you life, and who gave three lifes through you. Hence I push you to thank God through Jesus Christ, for giving you many big things, and thank that your prayers are done. Looking at the best you have means looking at God.
This makes your relationship with him stronger and stronger, at the same time it makes the devil thought weaker and weaker to death. Be strong Michel. Keep adoring your blessings from God! Never pay attention on the other side. God is love!! Thank you for your supportive words, may God bless you for helping me in a moment of doubt, fear of the future and loneliness. And heart. I prayed for each person writing about their suffering here. Give a chance to gently allow yourself to expect small miracles and those encounters might happen. Because there are many many wonderful people too.
Just try doing something new, use your God given freedom. Soamy in this world are deprived of that. We all might have limitations from monetary constraints, or distance, but even a page like this, not getting out the door even, can bring helpful ideas to improve. But most of all, to make us do the hardest thing which is reaching out. Reaching out is hard because we feel shame in sharing our defeats but why not start by being human and humble and connecting with people through universal shared mundane experiences until we feel confident to get closer and open up ourselves?
Wish you all good luck and that you find inspiration in a good and safe way that leads to a fulfilling path. Thanks again Abraham. I am 20 years old. I thought I knew what my dream was already since the age of 15 and I slowly went towards realizing it. This year I finally had the chance to participate in a program where I wanted to go most in this world — Japan, but somehow, after I returned, everything turned into a nightmare. I returned from this two week program and somehow became utterly depressed.
I have always been so eager to accept different opportunities, be busy, make the most out of life. It has always been my dream. I keep questioning myself — am I running away from life? Am I trying to avoid it? Have I suddenly stopped wanting what I have always wanted? Maybe after actually going to the place I wanted to connect my future with, I realized that it is not my calling?
My interests changed? Or am I simply going through a phase? Another thing, I am scared to tell my feelings to my loved ones, my family, friends. I am afraid of being judged. There are always these expectations — finish school, go straight to university, get a good job, follow the path you have always followed. Why do I suddenly want to do something completely different than before? I thought I knew myself, my calling in life. I am truly grateful for the kind, thoughtful words that I have read here today. I hope and pray for comfort and love to reach everyone who has written and who is hurting.
I would like to write this for Janet … I really feel for you, too. I had an experience similar to yours, and it was really difficult to get to the other side of it. I think if you read about it, you will recognize the symptoms and understand why you feel this way. I hope you will get some medical help, so you have at least one person to talk to. Try not to worry about how you feel about your goals right now.
It may be for something else but I think you will be able to look at this time and think it was an adventure and something good will come out of it. I think we all know this from experience. Thank you all for your messages, here. I have been through a tough few years but refuse to let loneliness set in, prior to I was in a Happy place, many great friends, in a relationship with a fabulous guy for 12 years after divorcing in Life was good, I was diagnosed with a tumor in my Jaw, had surgery and now had the all clear, the surgery has left me with a speech defect and slight dissfiguration of my chin due to extensive radiation.
BUT I kept smiling, my friends and family were fantastic support. Unfortunately my 13 year relationship ended last year which devastated me, but I pulled through. My circle of friends have diminished due to change of circumstances of their current lives changing and moving on. My way of coping and staying positive is to keep your self healthy, I eat well, exercise regularly,, keep up my appearance, laugh, stay away from negative people and cry when I need too.
I have been through dark days but the ones ahead look so much brighter. We all grow stronger from all these obstacles that are thrown at us. Stand up, brush off the dirt and move forward. Hi Guys, I am 29 year old. At the age of 5 , I hardly knew how to make fun of others. At the age of 6 , I came to know that there is some problem to me. I am not the normal guy who can freely express there feeling. I am an ugly guy who had no friends. Slowly and slowly my neighbours including my uncle had started to make fun of me.
Later, my mother used to tell me to ignore such things. Today , when I have to go to office then again I feel scare. Again I think how I can prepare myself to face this beautiful world. Ya I know it is not there fault to laugh at the person like me. But still I am trying to make myself so strong and bold that one day I would definitely win the heart of everyone or if not then these small things would not be important for me anymore….
May God bless us.. Ugliness does not exist. We are all special Rahul. I have my own bad story partly that I was amongst the best liked people growing up but now I feel so alone and do not have close friends and more that I wrote in my original message that I hope gets published. Rahul never give up. Michele is so beautiful too and her story touched me. I instantly did not feel alone also as if I was touched by God.
I have prayed as well. I will also pray against loneliness so that we no longer feel this way hopefully. Thank you for writing this article to the author. I feel stronger than ever before and feel connected to all of you,because we are all very strong,capable people who have faced,and fought against the worst of odds and yet we continue to survive.
Traveling with a friend or someone close can be a really rewarding experience. But I have just as much fun traveling alone. When I travel alone, what I learn about is myself. I learn about my own strengths, and I learn about my own weaknesses and insecurities. It can be powerful in any aspect of life.
This iframe contains the logic required to handle Ajax powered Gravity Forms. It seems today—at least in the U. We praise the extroverts—those who know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with vast network of friends. We think working in groups and on teams is the only way to find the answer to a problem. That two heads are better than one. That collaboration is the only way of the future. But if you leave me alone to think awhile, you might be surprised at what I accomplish.
If you want me to come out with you and your friends, invite me somewhere quiet where we can talk. I get value from my relationships by getting to know you much more than just being around you. In the same way I can enjoy myself in a big group, you may find you can also enjoy yourself… all by yourself. There is great value in being alone. And handling it well is a beautiful thing. The following are 13 rules I try to live by when it comes to being alone.
They add enormous value to my life. It really is a choice. Instead, ask yourself for advice. If you knew the answer to the problem that you have, what would it be? The more time you spend asking yourself for advice, the less you start to need input from others. To truly enjoy being alone, learn to look at ordinary situations in new and unfamiliar ways. Go to the park and watch people play with their children or their dogs. Go to the grocery store and watch how people shop for their groceries.
Everywhere you go, make an effort to understand the other people around you. Learning how people operate when they think no one is watching will make you feel more connected to them. Take a moment and sit quietly in a dark room. Listen to everything that is not happening around you. Every single person has an inner voice that talks to them at all hours of all days, and getting to know that person and how to talk to them is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
This voice rubs off on you. It is you. The way that you talk to yourself when no one else is around will shape who you are in this world more than anything else. Most people have to experience some type of tragedy before they begin to understand just how brief our time here is. There is no such thing as a boring person. There is no such thing as a boring situation. This is a problem with you, not with your surroundings. Take an interest in every person that comes into your life, even if for only a second. Listen closely to what they say. Watch carefully what they do. Try to understand them as a person.
To keep things moving, you have to keep things fresh. This is a time to reaffirm the path that your life is on. Are you happy and fulfilled? Or, are you feeling unsatisfied?